This time a month from now I will be back in America. In attempt to make up for 5 months without bagels or iced coffee, I probably will have already been to Dunkin Donuts at least five times. My phone will most likely be next to me, however I will be terrified by the touchscreen technology and how often it buzzes and rings. I might even miss my R200 1999 Nokia. There will be no mountains to gaze at, no more watching the sun set over African trees from my window. I will probably look the wrong way as I cross the street for at least a week. Not having to walk 15 minutes to purchase good food will be amazing, but paying triple for what I purchase will most likely cause me to avoid supermarkets for a while. My legs are going to miss hiking up 1000 stairs to get from one class to another, and my stomach is going to miss $2 'Mexicana' sandwiches from Souper Sandwich on campus. I have not stepped onto a scale, or into a gym, since January. I can now cook Chicken Tikka Masala from scratch and, believe it or not, have acquired a taste for Hake and Mussels. I put hot sauce on most of my food now. My hair has grown at least three inches, I am convinced. I have several new scars on my knees from hiking, and one from tripping on a side walk downtown.
Living in South Africa has provided me with a chance to experience a lifestyle very different from the one I have grown accustomed to. Over the past several months I have been living with Americans from all over the U.S and made friends from all over the world. The state of this country post-apartheid breaks my heart, but the people that call this country home have at the same time renewed my faith in humanity. I have attended a party in the most beautiful house I have ever seen and then returned home walking past the seven or so people that sleep on cardboard on my street. Walking from bar to bar there are little children pulling at your dress for money and then on campus kids spend R100 printing out articles. The buses charge R4 for a distance that a taxi would charge R40, and the patronage of each is divided purely by race. The disparities of wealth are alarming. Everyday my experiences sharpen my understanding of the social dynamics that make this country so unique. One afternoon, my friend got mugged and a homeless man that lives next to our house chased the culprit down and got her wallet back for her. A week prior the security guards responsible for securing our houses were found guilty of breaking and stealing everything of value from one of the residences while we were all gone on semester break. Things are much more complicated here than they appear.
Once realization I have come to is that here I am not as ashamed to be American as I am ashamed to be white. The Dutch Afrikaaner population is unbelievably racist and they assume we share their sentiments just because we share the color of their skin. Our colored friends even question us for taking interest in the culture of the black population - they wonder why we make traditional black dishes at our barbecues when we can afford more sophisticated meals. My host sister in Langa Township had never really had a white friend before, and cried when I left because she assumed I would never want to see her again.
It is true, in a month I will leave and return to a place where the problems of African nations are reduced to the occasional news article or report on channel 5. However, all of these things I speak of, all of this has become part of who I am. True, I can choose not to think about how the past five months have changed my life, but I cannot forget. I have grown considerably as an individual since boarding my British Airways flight out of Logan, but I feel more lost than ever. There are so many wrongs that need to be made right in this world and my inability to change much of anything has been made glaringly apparent. At the same time, it is so easy to make a big difference in the lives of people here. What we would consider an insignificant donation could supply shoes and blankets to children in an entire community. The money an American family spends on a weeks worth of groceries could feed my home stay family for at least a month. My time here has given me a lot to think about; including how I want to live the rest of my life and what my priorities are as a privileged individual.
Please, if anyone feels moved to make a donation to help improve the lives of people I have met here in any way, all you have to do is ask me how. Whether it be to support the organization I intern for, the community of Langa, the various social development projects I have been involved with etc., really, just let me know.
I plan to spend my last few weeks here traveling around and spending time with the people here that I will miss an unquantifiable amount. Most of you probably know I am an embarrassingly sentimental person and this is the biggest thing I have ever had to leave and will ever have to miss. I cannot wait to hug everyone at home and enjoy everything I have been without this semester, don't get me wrong, but I know it will be a very hard transition. I have one more day of classes, a week of driving around Namibia, two finals and a few days in the UK left before I return home. Dunkin Donuts here I come?
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Lexi, This was your best entry! I could feel the emotions you are feeling through the words you so eloquently wrote. I hope the transition won't be too difficult - but I am sure it will take some time to get used to being home again. Know that open arms are awaiting your return.
ReplyDeleteLove you, Mom